Goldfish Are Ordinary

by Stacie Cassarino

At the pet store on Court Street,

I search for the perfect fish.

The lack moor, the blue damsel, cichlids and neons.

Something to distract your sadness,

something you don't need to love you back.

Maybe a goldfish, the flaring tail,

orange, red-capped, pearled body,

the darting translucence?

Goldfish are ordinary, the boy selling fish says to me.

I turn back to the tank,

all of this grace and brilliance,

such simplicity the self could fail to see.

In three months I'll leave this city.

Today, a chill in the air,

you're reading Beckett fifty blocks away,

I'm looking at the orphaned bodies of fish,

undulant and gold fervor.

Do you want to see aggression?

the boy asks, holding a purple beta fish to the light

while dropping handfuls of minnows into the bowl.

He says, I know you're a girl and all but sometimes it's good to see.

Outside, in the rain, we love with our hands tied,

while things tear away at us.

(http://www.poets.org)

     I'm usually not a big poem person because I'm not very good at understanding the symbolism,

but for some reason this poem stuck out to me.

It could be the whole goldfish part just because I always have thought it's cool to have a goldfish.

But I think that it is more the fact that something as small as a goldfish is the subject of a poem.  

I also like how the deeper meaning is embedded into the other lines.  It's unique.

Thoughts on Poetry!

"It is difficult to get the news from poetry, yet men die miserably every day for lack of what is found there." -- William Carlos Williams

There are two parts to the main message that this quote is trying to say.  The first part has to do with it being difficult to get news from poetry.  Basically Williams is trying to say that poems usually don't the most complex subjects.  For the most part they are about general or ordinary subjects, but the details and description are what makes the poem extraordinary.  The second part is saying that even though the subject matter may be simple, it is important to read poetry because you learn to appreciate life.  He is saying that some people are so focused on the big picture and therefore they will die not realizing all of the small beauties.

In the Year 2049!

     As my husband and I are packing our boxes to move to an "active adult community" I take a walk through memory lane remembering all the great times I have had.  I feel like I have accomplished many things in my life and now I can spend my time relaxing and taking the vacations I have always wanted to.  I start off with the all of my picture frames I have on my dresser.  I see the progression of my three children's lives, from infant to the successful adults they are now.  I cannot believe how much they have grown and it amazes me how my husband and I were able to raise children who can now support themselves.  I am thankful for all the great times I have had with them and I look forward to seeing my grandchildren.

     I move on to my office, where I begin to put away all of my diplomas, from high school, college, and graduate school.  I have my very first name plate from my first office desk, and I take a second to appreciate all of the success I have had with my job.  Maybe I have not made all the money I had wished to when I was a child, but I was able to support my family financially and that is all that matters to me.  They are all healthy - my children, my husband, my brothers, my parents.  And I am too.  We are all able to stay in touch and it makes me feel special to know that everyone is still here for me...

     I put the packing peanuts into the last box as I bring my walk down memory lane to a halt.  My life has been a successful one.  With friends, family, health, and a career.  That is all I ever could have asked for.  I put the tape on the box and I step away, ready to move on and start the new adventure in my successful life.

Show Don't Tell!

The crisscrossing pattern of the wheat makes for a special design and a unique texture.  The small, shiny crystals of sugar peak through every bit.  The crunching fills my ears as I slowly bite into the little squares and taste my simple yet delicious breakfast.  I snatch up more pieces out of my snack-sized Ziploc, like a hungry squirrel, and devour it all.  Afterwards, I feel satisfied, full, and ready to start off my hectic day.

Short Stories!

     This past week we have read two short stories and I feel that they have brought up a few interesting points that should be discussed.  The first short story we read was Cathedral and it was about a blind man who visits a married couple after his wife dies.  The second story was Everyday Use, which is about one girl's battle with embracing her heritage.  Firstly, I would like to comment on the writing styles of both of these pieces.  I found them refreshing because they were very simple and to the point.  In Cathedral, the author repeated the key words and used choppy sentences, which I felt was effective in conveying the emotions.  The author of Everyday Use was able to capture emotion as well, using clear description that painted the picture in my head.

     Now, in regard to Cathedral, the message the author was trying to get across is an important one.  Unfortunately, this lesson cannot be taught, but has to be experienced by all for the full understanding.  This main point was that there is a difference between seeing things and actually seeing and experiencing things.  For example, the blind man in this story was able to experience the cathedral through his imagination and feeling the husband's hand as he drew.  Sometimes people need to step back and close their eyes and realize the beauty of life.  I feel that it goes back to the idea of taking things for granted and not realizing the simplicity of life.

     Almost similarly, Everyday Use's main message was figuring out the balance of being proud of where a person comes from.  There are, of course, two extremes and a balance and I think that this story focuses on the change of extremities over time.  The daughter of the narrator, Dee, started off as a person completely against her heritage, wanting to get out of her house as soon as possible.  Then after going away for some time, which is her way of stepping back, she decides to embrace her heritage by wanting to take all the precious heirlooms out of the narrator's house and to display them.  But why not use them and enjoy them for what they are worth?  I personally feel using heirlooms shows their importance more than just displaying them.  Obviously if the item is too fragile it would be a different story, however I feel the message of this story is also clear.

Obama!

     For some reason, Blogger was not working yesterday so unfortunately I didn't get to post my feelings on the inauguration.  So, I am posting today.  Yesterday was an important day in history for many reasons, and it was a privilege to be alive during this time.  Thankfully we were allowed to get out of our fifth period class to watch it live from the auditorium and the gym.  Unfortunately, I have lunch fifth period so I had to hurry up and eat before coming in late to the already crowded gym.  Not only were the people around me uninterested, bored, and talking, but the computer kept on freezing while Obama was making his speech.  I felt it was a great honor to get to watch, but for some reason I expected more, even though I knew it wasn't going to be exciting.  I do have to say that Obama did make a great speech in my opinion.  I find it very interesting that the person who helped him write his speech is only twenty-seven years old and Obama and the speech writer collaborated as nicely as written in a newspaper article.  Overall, I am looking forward to the next four years because I think the US need some of the changes that Obama is promising.  I do know that it's going to be very difficult and we shouldn't expect results right away, but I hope Obama is going to be the change the US needs and that we aren't going to be criticizing all of his moves before they all play out.

Guilty Conscience?

A guilty conscience can eventually make a person go crazy with all the guilt they are keeping inside. I know that I personally tend to feel guilty about everything, making it really hard for me to keep "bad" secrets to myself. I'm not saying that I share them to the world because I do understand that when someone tells you something in confidence you have to keep it to yourself, but when I personally make a stupid mistake I usually end up confessing. I never end up losing sleep over a secret and I certainly don't stop eating or talking to the person, but I probably do act a little differently. I like people to trust me and when I know that I have done something wrong I want to make sure that the lies don't end up making it worse in the end.

Because I know how I personally am with guilt, I do feel like I understand where Dimmesdale is coming from. I know I don't have a big of a secret as he does, but he is put into a terrible position. Everyone is allowed to make mistakes because we all are human, but in his society they handle mistakes very harshly. Especially because Dimmesdale is a minister, the punishment for his actions would be tremendous. Plus, he would have to deal with the disappointment he caused the entire community. This causes him to go crazy and start physically and mentally beating himself up, which in the end could be worse than actually confessing to his sin. In Hester's case, she was at first shunned by society and is forced to wear her scarlett A on her dress for the rest of her life, but now everyone sees her as a person who is trying to make up for her mistakes. She helps everyone out and they are beginning to trust her again, which is most likely better than a guilty conscience. She dealt with it and now she can move on. Dimmesdale has to hold onto this secret for the rest of his life. This also means that he can never be with Hester, which if they are really in love is upsetting for the both of them.

Overall, guilt is a powerful thing that effects everyone in different ways, which makes me believe that the best thing to do is to always tell the truth.

New Year's Resolutions!

     This year I decided I wasn't going to have a big and important New Year's resolutions because I always seem to either forget them right away or I break them in the beginning, which discourages me to continue.  Also, sometimes I think it is more fulfilling to set a goal on a random day because it's not something in a way forced, but more of a choice for self betterment.  However, recently because of the spirit of New Year's I have tried to think about things that I need to personally work on.  One thing in particular I want to concentrate on is to stop my negative behavior.  Whether or not it may be talking rudely about someone or not believing in myself, I feel that I need to work on my optimism.  I always think the worst of a situation or about my abilities, and I sometimes blow it out of proportion.  I think to accomplish this I need to make sure that I always think before I speak out loud.  ANd I should think about my positive qualities rather than my negative ones.  On a smaller note, I am going to try and wear my retainer more often because I know I couldn't stand having braces for a third time.  To accomplish this I have to try and not be as lazy, which could be considered another personal goal of mine.

     Happy Belated New Years!

Reaching for White!

The sun rose on fields snow blown and misted

ghostly swirls and dervishes. No fog this---

for fog simply lies. No---this was living as it arched and twisted,

fingering out to the road and reaching for me

like the shade of a beloved friend.

There was white inside, trying to seep out of pores,

I felt it strain trying to mesh and meld

with this sentient wraith fingers touching

joining and suddenly

I am the morning mist dancing in the crystal air.

- Lisa Shields

Good Authors!

"What I like in a good author is not what he say, but what he whispers."

- Logan Pearsall Smith

     I agree with Smith's feelings on good authors.  I think the idea of "whispering" in stories are the things that aren't necessarily obvious - the idea of reading "in between the lines."  Because anyone can write a story, but the deeper meaning makes it special.  For example, if a story has imagery, symbolism, or easily relatable themes, it is better than the normal blase story.  The reader can enjoy the story more, and the stories are memorable.  For example, some of my favorites stories are ones with a lot of description and with a well thought out plan.  If it's a complicated plot with many twists and turns it is better than reading a simple story with no main idea.  Being able to "whisper" or convey the larger ideas is a very difficult skill, and that is what makes the difference between authors and good authors.